2300 Washtenaw, Suite 203 Ann Arbor, MI 48104 (734) 995-5181 Affiliates: Brian Ashin, MSW Fernando Colón, Ph.D. Kate Drinkwater, MSW Douglas Ensor, Ph.D. Paul Estenson, Ph.D. Manal Assi Houmani, MD Moira Hubbard, Psy.D. Emily Jernberg, Ph.D. Judith Kleinman, MD Lori Lichtman, Psy.D. Andrew Orosan-Weine, Ph.D. Ellen Barahal Taylor, Ph.D. Mary Whiteside, Ph.D. Administrative Staff: Chris Wozniak Nancy Yonkman Marcie Komanecky Editor: Patricia Pasick, Ph.D. In this Issue: More Positive Psychology Eight Ways to Practice   Positive Psychology Divorce Mediation:    A Strength Based Alternative Ann Arbor Center for the Family Current Events Home

Divorce Mediation: A Strength Based Alternative     The decision to divorce is always difficult, upsetting, and painful. However, once the decision is made, divorce mediation offers a way to move through the process, if not positively, at least using your strengths, encouraging resilience, and avoiding escalating the financial and emotional costs. Center affiliates Douglas Ensor, Ellen Barahal Taylor, and Mary Whiteside are all trained divorce mediators.     In mediation the couple meets with a neutral third person who facilitates the steps necessary for them to create their own divorce agreement. Attorneys act as advisors and handle the legal paper work. The attorneys are usually not in the mediation meetings.     The couple works face to face: stating their goals, listing and valuing all assets and debts, making budgets of expenses, working out a parenting schedule, communication and decision making for the children, analyzing possibilities for property division, child support, and alimony.     Once they agree on a solution that best fits the needs of all the family members, a memorandum of agreement is drawn up, reviewed by attorneys, and submitted to the court.     The couple retains full control over all decisions and agreements. The mediator helps them develop options and explore alternatives, but does not make recommendations or impose decisions on them. No one has all wishes met, but all are clear about the facts and the trade-offs. Most importantly, a working relationship is preserved, each person retains self-respect, and the children know that they can have the best of each parent.     Even if a mediator was not used in the formulation of the divorce agreement, parents may find a mediator helpful following the divorce judgement. The task of parenting remains, even in highly conflictual divorces. Having a structure in place which will help parents resolve issues and make timely decisions can be very positive for the welfare of family members. For more information about divorce mediation: Ann Arbor Center for the Family or Association for Conflict Resolution. Home     Previous     Next